Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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