She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
