who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
