her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
