Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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