never play flip cup with pint glasses
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
