Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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