guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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