I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
