you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
