I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
