He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
