just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
