We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
