I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
