dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize