i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
