I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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