I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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