used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
