I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
