Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
