But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
