I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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