You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
