So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
