Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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