Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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