i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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