I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
this just has baby written all over it
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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