Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
