and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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