So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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