I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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