I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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