im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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