i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
