party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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