I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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