You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
