: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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