Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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