your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
