am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
