happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
