He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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