He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
