I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
not ubering you a puppy
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
