R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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