i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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