you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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