Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
