Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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