In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
