hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel like death gave me a hand job
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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