i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
