you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
